Every night when I put Elsie to bed, I tell her about all the people that love her...her mommy, daddy, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, and so on. As I snuggled her and talked to her tonight, she just stared right into my eyes. As I finished my usual list, it finally occurred to me that I failed to mention Paxton. It was a very special moment for me while I talked to her about him. I don't ever want to forget about him, and I want Elsie to know about him and know that she has an older brother that loves her very much. I'm really not good at articulating my thoughts in writing, but I had an overwhelming sense of peace. I'm just so grateful that we will all get to be with him again, that we will get to raise him and get to know him, and we will be able to be a complete family.
I thought I'd include this little video that I took when visiting Paxton in the hospital (it's the only one I took). It was very dark in there, so you may not be able to see him very well. There's a couple times where he lifts up his arm, which, at the time, seemed like a miracle. Hope you enjoy it! I know I do every time I watch it.
5 comments:
Okay, I'm totally crying. These past years both you and Aaron have shown what strong, amazing people you are. I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose a child. I really look up to you so much. I'm so glad you had an overwhelming sense of peace when you were talking to Elsie about Paxton. I wish I could have met him during his short life here. It is so comforting knowing that you guys will see him again and finally be that complete family. I love you lots!
okay you should definitely post a warning before this. ***may invoke tears***
kimmie. i love you.
at work:
"hey Jared, I need you to...are you crying?"
"no, allergy season, you know."
probably the most touching post I've ever read.
Oh Kim, you are such a strong person. We love you. It makes me so sad that you ever had to have such a sad experience but I'm so happy that you can feel peace about it and keep an eternal perspective.
I love that you shared that. You are amazing!
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